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Take Two

Finally knuckled down and knocked out something that's been on the back burner for the longest time mainly because I wanted to have everything thought out before taking any action. Of course, if that were the case, nothing would ever happen, so it's a matter of Just Doing It.

Will be winding down this familiar space as I put more focus on the new space that has a similar name for lack of creativity. (But I like the pun.) I've been thinking of better ways to put my (backlog of)  pictures online instead of spamming them on facebook and what better way to do it than on a blog. Avocadeux-shake will see more of photos and the travels that contextualise it. Some of the travel posts here will appear there as well... because relevance.

I'm here now: avocadeux-shake.blogspot.com

Shades of Red

He stared at the blur of heels, dyed hair, and flashy fabric. "I have a theory," he declared, after several moments.

"Let's hear it."

"Girls who wear red at a nightclub are desperate for attention."

She surveyed the the crowd before her, eyes lingering on the figures in red. "Depends on what shade of red they're wearing."

A pause.

"You're right," he gave a slight nod.

And they continued to people-watch in comfortable silence.

Why I Pray

Even the staunchest atheist needs something to believe in. Logic, science, the cosmos, peanut butter density, himself - in which case he is his god. Now all he needs is a third ring to form the proverbial trinity. We depend, fervently, on our selected centres, particularly in tumultuous times. And so, we disguise prayers in beneath-the-breath mutterings, in exclamations, in silent gestures, in tension, in hope.

I pray because I still want to believe that the world runs on something bigger than the mistakes and self-interests of humans needing to stroke their ego; bigger than a random event with energy and particles. Here I might verily be falling prey to the deep-seated instinctive need find meaning and make sense of all things but the alternative holds little appeal. Somehow. And I pray because I don't think hope is possible without a speck of belief in something greater than our mere mortal selves.

An Excuse To Eat

An early Mother's Day dinner was the perfect excuse to check out the latest Chinese inspired menu at Amber. Not that we need an excuse to eat out, but I suppose it soothes the over-indulgence-conscious part of the conscience. Amber's one of the rare places that my family visits pretty regularly, partly due to their menu that changes every few months and the very reasonable prices.

Amber saw a full house for dinner that day and we were, to our pleasant surprise, ushered to a private room away from the hustle and chatter. The waiter started us off with a complimentary passionfruit and pineapple mocktail that was refreshingly sour. I liked it but  my parents found it average. For starters, we had a prawn tikka salad tossed with Japanese cucumber, tomatoes, and achar. There was a touch of yoghurt in the dish as well that complemented the sourish taste of the achar rather well. Opted for the sea bass and scallop for the main course and the fish was great, as usual, although I thought the accompaniment of the yam fritter was a bit odd. Dessert was a chilled snow pear & white fungus served with red date jelly, which I found a little too sweet and but pleasant overall.

Always inspired to cook after I return from such dinners. Dinner conversations would normally involve critiquing the dish and figuring out what's the best way to recreate the dish at home...not that I've gotten around to it. Yet. Gonna break in the muffin maker first.

"Just let the boat pull you up!"

I travelled to the far east - or north east, to be more accurate - for a wakeboarding session on Friday. It began as an exercise in patience since student-organised events will almost always begin late. In this case it was almost an hour and a half worth of popping thought bubbles. 

Prior to this I always thought wakeboarding was an energy-intensive activity with a high-strength pre-requisite. Turns out, all  you need is to be able to keep you ass close to the board, relax, and have a really strong grip. From floating in the water to standing up, there's minimal effort involved since the boat really just does all the work and pulls you up from the water. 

The hard part's just holding onto the damn handle. So much harder than it looks. I can barely clench my fist today cos my forearms are hurting so much. If things work out, the next round will be in Bali (:

A New Fail

Last night,  I went to bed with every intention of waking up bright and early the next day to exercise. This morning, I did wake up bright and early only to hit the pillow once more after snoozing. When I eventually woke up at nine, I figured I should go ahead anyway and donned my socks, tied up my hair, took out the ankle weights and all that. I was feeling pretty good about how the day was starting until I opened the front door and was greeted with a flood of blinding sunlight and an oppressive humidity that permeated the air. Stood there, blinked. Blinked several more times. Aaaaand nope. Headed back to the coolness of the house and had breakfast instead.

Je suis fatigue.
Je ne suis pas bien.

What I Remember You By

I remember you by your wristbands from Thailand. A couple of years old and all that was left from your once extensive collection that spanned your forearm. A crisscrossed mixture of blue, orange and possibly green. All these I know because you asked about mine - green hearts on blue that encircled my wrist; a nine year old friendship going on to forever. At that point I wished I had an extra one for you as a souvenir; it felt like an apt thing to do.

I remember you by your gorgeous slightly sad, sometimes uncertain smile, almost like you couldn't decide if you should savour the present or sigh at the inevitable parting of ways. This is great, is gonna end way too soon, don't wanna mess up the remaining time. It might have been a projection of mine but I find that hard to believe when it was written all over you, from the light in your eyes to the complementary magnetism to the inconvenience we worked around.

I remember you by the outstretched palm you offered me on that boozy lazy afternoon. Open, unassuming, hopeful, demanding. Beer in your other hand, on the floor, on the table, in my hand. How your fingers were longer than mine by an entire section and your palm still visible after mine covered yours.

I remember you by the tremulous voice cracked with slight disbelief and realization when you said, word for word, the exact sentence I was thinking at that moment. Then it was my turn to be in complete disbelief at that freaky telepathy.

But most of all I remember you by the collective memory of the little things that enhanced the idea of you, not you. Crinkled eye corners, giggly laughs, nerdy preferences, laugh lines, chivalry, incredible perceptiveness, and passion so deep it left a crater-sized impression.

Valencia Mushroom

Turning into an unintentional vegetarian with a fullmoon-esque carnivorous craving for a perfectly cooked steak.

I can't explain this.

Also found a new favourite pizza that is

- surprise, surprise (or not) -

vegetarian.

Laughter

If there's one thing I could bottle up, it'd be laughter. Pure, unsaturated laughter that bubbles from from the depths of Some Place Delightful. Yesterday, I made a new friend who laughs with such unrestrained mirth that I spent a good portion of suppertime just watching him laugh. I can't remember the last time I've heard anyone above the age of five laugh so! freely! Each bout of laughter's almost like a confetti sprinkle of happiness - so lighthearted, so consuming and so amazing.

Brains & Frustration

The one thing worse than wanting to eat and not knowing what to eat is itching to cook but not knowing what to cook. I have an entree in mind, but no main. And the dessert doesn't make sense. -.-

In other news, Sunday has been most unproductive. A stubborn migraine-esque ambush occurred in the middle of the night and stuck its spikes well into the morning afternoon evening. Moving in slow-motion gets frustrating, especially when thoughts seem to move at the same pace of a person navigating a water-logged swamp at high-tide.

For the love of food

Cooking is beginning to look like a more regular affair. Most of the adrenaline lies in the delivery however, not so much the cooking itself. Plating, presentation and timing.

Dinner was an eggplant mushroom quinoa risotto with white wine reduction and ramekin portions of a cauliflower gratin. The family gave a unanimous thumbs up, which is about the best feedback to receive. The cauliflower gratin can be improved. I should try to follow recipes a little closer and not wing it half the time - the exception being how much wine to add in a dish (hahaha). I loved that the risotto had the delicate aroma and sweetness of the wine. Should have added some saffron like I did the previous time - the fragrance and colour a few strands of the spice lends to the dish is really quite extraordinary. 

In older news, the molten lava cake was 80% successful. It left the oven a couple of minutes early. Two more minutes would have made all the difference. So a bite-sized bit of the chocolate-y goodness had a too-fragile shell. And I forgot to add coffee liqueur to the mix. No wonder it felt like there was something missing. Well, more to drink then.

Presence

I've learnt to embrace - instead of avoid - this fickle thing called emotions. The mood changes that can send my soul soaring and suckerpunch me in the gut the next moment. I've learnt to embrace them the way an awkward teenage boy would hug his mother in front of his friends - slightly unwilling but knowing he can't get away with doing so.

So with all the peaks and troughs and occasional flatlining, I've learnt that dealing with them will still leave the sad days sad and the good days great. At the end, however, I walk out of it feeling better than before each time.

Time is a blended blur of movie clips fading into each other, of soundtracks on a turntable overlapping into the following song - almost discernible but not entirely so. And time-passed plays in my mind like disjointed shards of a home video put together by an amateur, moving from one scene to the next to the next to the next with seemingly no relation except for the one theme running through them: Presence.

Presence of heart, mind and soul reduced on low heat and concentrated to those very moments where the awareness of being right there and then paint more than mere visual memories. The hearty laughter of a jolly Italian baker, abrupt hugs from five-minute friends with promises to change the world, a last dinner, a heartbreaking final sunset in Paris, the exact moment someone wordlessly threaded his fingers through mine, goodbyes, a climb up slippery rocks along the Calanques with great friends, the silent ride back on a train with my nose buried in an e-book, the heart-stopping moment when I thought I was going to crash my bike on a busy road, and all! those! smiles!.

Smiles from strangers, acquaintances, and friends - some tentative, some broad, some polite and some with hugs thrown into the mix. From the one with a perpetually restrained smile belying an unreserved reservoir of thoughts (upon some probing) to others with their hearts on their sleeves and sunshine in every grin - each time I start doubting people, with just smiles, others restore my faith in humanity.

Humanity defines us, both as individuals and as a whole; an ocean. Most times I just see myself, but those moments of (re)connecting with friends and strangers is when I (re)realise the vastness of humanity. Just think about it: personalities*background*philosophies*experiences*andsomuchmore.

More than just a big digression, what I am trying to say is that I've reach a point where I am a-okay with strolling into the next scene, with my hands in my pockets and heart in my chest (and not throat), to take on whatever it is because for the people and moments? It's worth it.

Of all the things in the world to be frustrated with, I lose my cool over food. Really, Christine? Okay, yes, really. Restaurants dates and The Family do not go well together at all. Argh.