School's been hectic. Long. Exhausting. I never thought I'd put exhausting and school together but this year... this year, it's a whole new game with a completely different set of rules- one I haven't gotten a hang of. Yet. It's only the first week and I'm dozing off in classes already. I hope my mom'll never read this. And, the not-quite-starry-eyed-and-innocent J1s came in today, much to my annoyance. I quite like having the school for just the J2s, as selfish as it may sound. Totally understand why some of our seniors kept shooting us evil glares last year. I hope, like Shiyang said, they'll get high on Orientation Fever that they'll go to their house towns and stay away from the canteen as much as possible. Then at least, we'll have some space to breathe.
And there's pressure. Oh yes, I know, I can't believe it either. I've never felt pressure so early in my entire academic life. It's disgusting, this pressure's unhealthy, black kind that's getting me down, not the vitamin-fortified one that motivates you to keep on running the race. I'm behind in my work, as usual; not gonna catch up any time soon, but eventually, it'll all work out, as usual.
This week, I felt so disconnected from reality, from the consequences of my actions, from so many things. It's like my bubble teleported to an unknown time-warped realm. This week, I felt extra reluctant to go home, especially on Tuesday after hockey. Was lying against my ginormous equipment bag after training, staring into space and enjoying the slightly chilly wind that was dancing to a silent song. It was so peaceful, y'know? My overall state hasn't been at peace for the longest time and on Tuesday, it was the closest to peace I've been since last December. The College, as I've mentioned before, is beautiful at night. I could spend all night wandering around the dimly lit corridors, shuffling across the parade square, staring out at the dark field and be happily contented. Because I need such things to keep me sane. And I think I just hit upon something. Me time. I need Me Time.
Grace upon grace in my life. I should keep an eye out for them. Like how, out of the blue, a primary school friend called up saying how a few of us should meet up. It's amazing how we can still converse so easily despite being out of touch for 4 odd years. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's so emotionally attached to 6F.
Shall leave you with this quote:
"Eventually all pieces fall into place.
Till then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment,
and know that everything has reasons."
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