as the heat kills

I am awfully surprised that The Ancient Computer (TAC) hasn't died on me. Usually, it'll go bonkers in 2 hours. But the printer, ohmuhgah the bleeding printer simply would not co-operate with me! Do you have any idea how many fresh, blank, perfect pieces of paper I've wasted? I despise the printer like how I absolutely hate brinjal and bittergourd. It always gives me trouble and random shit like crushing up my work after it's printed it. Or pooping all over it.

This will be the most meaningless post on avocado-shake so far. As meaningless as the way I sit and stare out of the bus and just.. wonder..and refuse to go home sometimes. I miss my High School Thursdays. They always start at 0715, end at 2130, and all the hours in between will be filled. Filled to the brim with the blissful feeling of having constant good company, the familarity of meeting close friends for random dinners, the fatigued satsfaction of having thought up another few eighths. I don't meet no close friends for dinner no more; I barely have the time. And it killed me the other day when Mocha went out to celebrate zoEmoEfoE's birthday and I couldn't attend. I can't just chill, sit back and enjoy the comfortable silence with Mocha anymore. I find no familarity in The College. What's there is a twisted sense of Old & New. Sure, the New's great, it intrigues, excites, reveals but I'm starting to find it... somewhat tedious. There's nothing like Mocha in The College! :(

Was raging mad a while ago. 4 hours ago. Passive raging. The kind where I still go about my usual routine like it's a normal day but inside the immense anger and well, probably more annoyance simmers and bubbles. So what happens to it? I've not the slightest idea. Evaporates? Diffuses it to the other parts of my body so the concentration isn't so high so I'm not as murderous as before? Either way, I'm much better now- after downing a cup of purposely concentrated ACV. The sourness quells the flames. My stomach... can go to hell. For now. I'll regret tomorrow when I end up on the floor in foetal position. *!;l&^%$#@ HATEHATEHATE how Random Last Minute Things crop up EVERYTIME. Every single forsaken bleeding time. I hate how I always have to compromise and end up giving up something. I hate how seemingly conflict- free calender days end up in clashes and I'll have to go throught the whole 'Me- Getting- Annoyed,- Messes- Up- Other- People's- Day,- They- Get- Annoyed,- Makes- My- Day- Worse,- Feel- Guilty- After- That' cycle. I hate missing a camp that I've been looking forward to for the longest time. I hate how I never ever have time to talk to Jam anymore and even if we do communicate via email it's not the same! It fills me with guilt everytime I tell him that I have to go off already and he ends up with this gut-wrenching look of disappointment on his face.

I HATE IT.