it's a very strange caught-in-the-middle feeling when my mood & mind's going down but there's this buoyancy that's preventing my mood from sinking to the Pitzz. i'm so thankful for that but what'll happen when it stops. school starts in 3 days and my first extreme thought was NIGHTMARE. i don't want school to start i'm not mentally prepared for school i don't want that barrage of information and sinking realisation akin to that of a death knell to happen i'm not prepared to commit to such a serious school year.
i know, i know, positivity, yes, i should be doing what i preach but eurgh. i thought it was the end of the homework-i-never-knew-about-until-the-last-minute but NOOO, it's never ever the case, is it? i've got a mount everest of homework and the added threat of white slips 0.0
IS IT SO DAMN HARD TO HAVE FUN WHILE STUDYING? studying gets more... suffocating with each passing year, from secondary one onwards ohhhmyannoyance i can't put it off anymore.
this feeling... is like being made to drink dubious traditional medicinal concoctions- makes you queasy & squeamish but you have to down it anyway cos your mother is standing behind you looking particularly murderous.
somehow, school is always linked to weird shit.
:/
& lastly, i don't want to turn 18. it's not just ageing another year; it's so much more than i can ever fathom. i can't grow that much in a month i'm not ready i wanna remain 17. don't burst my bubble. just don't, not this year.
:/
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