When you own the universe.
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Saturday, February 4, 2012, 4:05 PM
Dear Poem
I haven’t written you in a long time.
A sudden window winks open.
The sky has my father’s
beaten face. I missed you. I missed how
you comforted me the way you
comfort me now with your wide-eyed
lucidity, the languor of the patient
unfurling of yourself, luxuriously
disregarding the latest betrayal
like a headline stark across the front
page of my face. But I will not
write about it here, along the margin
of your insides, although you are in love
with such unsung facts – the pearly whitehead
on my chin, that faint odour from my feet
scaling the air’s ladder into the previous line –
and why not? Who cares if someone else
would never believe that such things
may not also be poetic?
But now I want only to talk of you.
How many like you have I already
composed with such authentic chords
of truth, loud and clear within them.
My beloved one-night-stand
who never stops coming
to love me at all the right times:
after unbearable grief
or after every rare moment
of contentment, even joy.
You who never lie except when I
want you to, if only to augment a distant
but more vital truth. I love you,
dear poem. I love you
because you hold pain up upon
the quiet of your palm, raising it
so I might see it in the best possible light.
- Cyril Wong
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Thursday, February 2, 2012, 12:14 AM
ANGST.
& I can't figure out why.
Labels: life, random, thoughts
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Wednesday, January 25, 2012, 11:42 PM
WAKE UP
Dear Self,
the sun peeked out from the horizons several eons ago. Time to step up and start doing some work. The rest of the World In Your Head can function without you for extended periods of time. Reality's actually brighter than you think it is.
Sincerely,
Self
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Tuesday, January 17, 2012, 1:02 AM
Made of Awsm
Some people just seem to be made of awesomeness. It's unbelievable how they can surprise you each time with well-timed little gestures that make a world of difference (: Guess they might just be the angels in our lives.
& right now I am so very grateful to one such person who just introduced me to a vastly amusing singer, Max Raabe. Thank you for cracking that stress shell that's been subtly building up like an oyster's pearl. I swear, you're a God-send.
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Wednesday, December 28, 2011, 12:01 AM
Speedmas
Some stores have already swept their shelves clean of Christmas goods, stocked them with Chinese New Year festivities and swapped the jingle bells for firecrackers & cymbals. All these just one day after Christmas. A little too fast, don't you think? Is Christmas that commercially un-viable in Singapore? I can't help but feel a little miffed that they're decking the halls with fortune bamboos and kamquat plants so soon :(
Labels: AggravationExasperation, bitesized
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Thursday, December 22, 2011, 11:38 PM
134211
Seriously, how much strength is required for that one silly barre?
Not gonna give in to fingertip numbness until my F Major sounds like F Major.
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Wednesday, December 21, 2011, 11:45 PM
To Ten & More
There's something pretty dang awesome about meeting a friend after a decade. Whether it's the decade worth of catch up to do or the easy reminiscence of back then or just marvelling at how we've changed (or remained the same), the contentment is always there I kid you not. Here, I'm referring to all those lovely meet ups with old friends who've been around since primary school days and those whom I've recently met yet are already so comfortably familiar ♥
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Tuesday, December 20, 2011, 12:00 PM
Music Bubbling to Fuel the Denial
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Monday, December 19, 2011, 11:06 PM
Music & Dialogue
Drifting towards older bands and genres I don't usually listen to after discovering Six Pence None the Richer and their awesome songs (particularly Kiss Me and There She Goes). Such dreamy lyrics and melodies.
Digression #1: Youtube is the modern day time vortex.
On a friend's recommendation, I watched the 1950 film, All About Eve yesterday afternoon, in between bouts of food collection for the Empress Dowager (Digression #2: There is now approximately $800 worth of Christmas food in the house for two extended families and probably enough leftover to last a couple more months.) Such pretty dialogue! Simple yet effective! Even the arguments are done in such a classy way haha. So easy to get enthralled by words... and then lament my lack of fluency afterwards.
On a more sombre note, it's about time I start taking my academics a little more seriously :(
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Sunday, December 4, 2011, 11:31 PM
Go East, young lady
Post-exams has been a whirlwind of activity - family outings, night cycling trips, meetings, barbecues, retreats and so on (: Just 24 hours ago and with an hour odd of sleep, I was standing on the outside looking groggily into my world. Haven't felt this tired since Orientation Week haha but oh, just as well I'm running on adrenaline and snatches of shut-eye in between places. Sleep debt's still rollin' and with luck, I can start claiming some proper shut-eye from Wednesday onwards.
Tomorrow will see me making my way to the other end of Singapore for the third time in less than a week. Absolutely record breaking. At least I'm smarter now; it won't take me 2.5 hours to reach the Unknown East like the first time.
Looks like my many holiday plans/expectations will have to be re-looked/re-calibrated.
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Tuesday, November 15, 2011, 11:04 PM
JDI
Once in a while, doubts overwhelm and questions plague the mind. It's not terribly disconcerting since it tells me that I still have a lot to work on in my life, but the knowledge that you're not good enough sometimes makes wanting to be a better person a tiring task. I'm in a faulty loop where the conditions are our ever-changing expectations of self. & my headache (from all the practice papers today) really isn't making anything better. The finals are next week and my motivation to study is inversely proportional to the number of days left before exams begin. Yeaaa Christine, snap out of it.
I would like to run off for a day, roam the streets doing silly things with a five-minute friend whom I'll never meet again after that. & if by chance we meet again, we'll just smile and pretend we've never met.
Labels: life, random, thoughts, Uni
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Wednesday, November 9, 2011, 1:14 AM
Clarity
I would really love to email God and have him reply. But I guess prayers are just as effective, if not better (:
Labels: bitesized, life, thoughts
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Monday, November 7, 2011, 10:49 PM
Silent Walks
I find it incredibly comforting to walk in silence with someone. Just strolling with our hands tucked into our pockets and our thoughts kept to ourselves; appreciating the quiet company yet knowing it's completely alright to gently pull apart the calm and step back into the world. (:
Labels: bitesized, thoughts, TiLT
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Saturday, November 5, 2011, 12:01 AM
One of those Days
#rant.begin()#
ARGH. Short sentences! Short! &! sweet! sentences!! Everyone should practice writing concise sentences! Stop looping all over the place. One sentence, one (or at most two) point(s)! Sentences are not mini-vans! Where are the fullstops when I need them. 0.0
#rant.end()#
Chocolate has been ruining my appetite lately. Granted, I've been eating it at the wrong time but still, isn't it wayyy too harsh to smash my appetite to smithereens?? Because of that, I realised that 2am's a really bad time to have hunger pangs.
Labels: AggravationExasperation
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Monday, October 31, 2011, 12:58 AM
Revisitations
Unexpectedly dropped in at my ex-physics tutor's place this afternoon just to say a "Hi, how are you! :D" But instead of me leaving in a few minutes, Ol' Chua made my day with his wonderful brand of hospitality, which included delightful coffee♥, a biscuit tin filled with chocolate and silly conversation. I missed the coffee he makes. Tutors who are coffee connoisseurs are awesome. I'm not usually so glad to meet a teacher but hey, how many teachers jump on tables, organize Foosball competitions and teach so well that you end up liking the subject? He's one of the few teachers I truly appreciate and am thankful for (:
Labels: inspiration, life, pics, TiLT
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Saturday, October 22, 2011, 10:40 PM
Transience
Nothing starts you thinking like the sudden death of someone you've just met a little more than a week ago. I can scarcely imagine the amount of shock and pain the family is experiencing. It's so easy to say "Cherish your loved ones", but despite those intentions, day-to-day we forget to do so and when they're gone, it's too late. Then comes the regret, the feeling bad, the unfinished memories and the words left unspoken. All those could haves and should haves that leave us half-broken, but hey all the money in the world can't buy back a life. For each loving memory, it's a constant playback to relieve. For each unresolved conflict, we grieve - so significant then, so frivolously trivial now. For each full-bodied laugh remembered, we smile a bittersweet smile with the corners turned down. For each time pride got in the way, we cry for our foolishness. But at the end of the day, after the cavalier casing around the heart breaks, the forgetfulness creeps back like ink seeping through the fibres of a page.
It's almost as if we aren't capable cherishing without hard-hitting reminders.
Labels: life, SHOCKK, thoughts
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Saturday, October 15, 2011, 12:28 AM
Sometimes I find it hard to breathe. I don't mean it in the dramatic oh life, you oppressive thing way; I mean it literally. After a while, it gets rather irritating having to inhale super-deeply continuously.
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Tuesday, October 4, 2011, 12:02 AM
The Day Coffee Failed Me
I drank a cup of coffee this morning in hopes that the caffeine would sustain me through the day but alas, my head met the desk in the second lecture.
Labels: bitesized, Uni, weird shit
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Wednesday, September 28, 2011, 9:44 PM
Smooth Operator
Smooth operators in school, especially in my faculty, are rare. But damn, they're good.
Labels: (a)musings, bitesized, random, Uni
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Tuesday, September 27, 2011, 12:31 AM
Voltaire - Did you find what you're looking for?
Famous Enlightenment writer & philosopher and, fast-forward a couple of centuries, amazingly talented musician.
The songs are tongue-in-cheek with a very catchy, folksy feel (: Always lovely to discover (or re-discover, in this case,) quirky artistes. Some of his lyrics are particularly animated, like The Beast of Pirates Bay - cute, visual and reminds me of all the silly cartoons I used to watch. Been music-bubbling to his tunes the whole day!
Woke up this morning with a familiar light-heartedness I haven't experienced in a long while (: Praise God! A series of events in the past week has made me realised my neglect for my emotional/spiritual health. Hence the inspiration to start my random art projects again. I just embarked on a 30 day drawing challenge; let's see where that takes me. Also started doing QT regularly again and spending my morning in the presence of God has brought an incredible sense of peace that's increasing day by day (:
Labels: inspiration, thoughts, TiLT
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Sunday, September 25, 2011, 12:25 AM
Dear Cramps
Stop being such a pain. (Ha ha)
I promise to start exercising more.
Yours sincerely
le Grouch
Labels: AggravationExasperation, Inanity, letters
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Saturday, September 24, 2011, 12:17 AM
Fancy-pants
So yesterday night was pretty much spent trying to get the photographers' attention, sampling the various courses, keeping reasonably warm and catching up with people here&there. Have to say it was a good opportunity to bask in the company of people you've worked with in the past year and get updates about their lives (:
And of course, thank you, neighbour, for the ride home. Much appreciated! (:
A friend who was absent cited lack of productive studying as an excuse, so he'd feel guilty about whiling the night away. That made me realise, with greater clarity than before, how much of a priority studies are in my life. Oops.
My mom has recently started using Facebook on her phone (after eons of denying that she ever had a Facebook account) after realising the stalker-capabilities it offers. Now she keeps tabs on our (my siblings & I) lives via FB.
Moving on to a completely different topic, I wonder how unconsciously does passive-aggression manifests itself in a person's actions, and about the level of malicious intent hidden in that passive-aggressive action. Came across a couple of things in the past few days that had 'passive-aggressive' written all over it, but y'know, I might be reading a little too much into things (that, once again, are of no concern to me. I'm just kpo.)
Labels: (a)musings, hols, Mom, thoughts, TiLT, Uni
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Friday, September 16, 2011, 11:44 PM
Well-played, Team ♥
Am exceedingly proud of the how awesomely the team played today :D Great defense and wonderful blocking by the goalie. Congratulations for making it this far this year & thank ya'll for being part of the team! ♥
Spent the day all distracted by thoughts of the game. Tried & failed to calm the anticipation that built up over the afternoon, resulting in a surprising lack of appetite and loads of pent-up restless energy.
Lost by a single point in the finals, but despite the loss, we all walked away in good spirits. Rare are the times I play hard enough to say,"Good game. Well-played," and truly mean it. Today was one of those times. For such a short ride, it left one heck of an impact. Strangely, and interestingly, enough. This year's was completely different from the last.
Anyway, somewhere along the way, I started thinking about floorball and hockey, and realised that I could've loved hockey. Like live&breathe hockey. But that thought stopped there.
Labels: life, thoughts, TiLT, Uni
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Thursday, September 15, 2011, 11:23 PM
Juno has such cuuuute soundtracks <3
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Saturday, September 10, 2011, 11:52 PM
Finals, babyyy (:
So after a semi-final drought for a couple of years (or much more), engin made it to the IFG floorball finals. Gotta say that today's performance completely exceeded my expectations, cos last year's was kinda ... . Heh.
Anyway, within the first two minutes on court, I realised that my stamina (or lack thereof) is in dire need of some rescuing. I tried, but y'know, mind willing,
Finals are next Friday evening. Really?!? Yes, such unfortunate timing.
Need to rest.
Labels: bitesized, thoughts, TiLT, Uni
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Monday, September 5, 2011, 11:19 AM
EUGHHH
My back muscles are NON-EXISTENT.
I really really really need to start exercising again 0.0
Labels: inspiration, SHOCKK
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Sunday, September 4, 2011, 11:43 PM
C++ MAKES ME SAD.
Also, the most popular question I receive now is, "So, when are you gonna get a boyfriend?" or some variation of it. While chitchatting with the ladies & gents in church today, every single one of them posted aforementioned query. That is in addition to kpo inquiries from various concerned (*coughs) individuals. What! Is! This! The whole.damn.world. is on my case and it's not.amusing.anymore.okay??? >:/ Evidently agitated because having to constantly outrightly dodge/ politely sidestep the same damn question (since it's none of your business) is annoying and repetitive. STOP ITTTTT or I'll stop being polite.
Labels: AggravationExasperation, Inanity, weird shit
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12:37 AM
istringstream
Have been plagued with the mother of all chronic headaches these couple of days. It is draining my batteries too quickly, killing my productivity and reducing my quality of life. Increasing force over a roughly constant area; gotta keep my cool. Sigh.
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Tuesday, August 30, 2011, 11:06 PM
A Fish That Has A Secret Wish
9-odd pm. We're settled comfortably in front of the TV, armed with cocktails, snacks and plenty of cushions.
Then it's ten, eleven, midnight, one in the morning. A supper-run to the coffeeshop ended in us returning to the kitchen to brew some goodness. They were out of hot drinks. Two becomes three, three turns to four and in between each movie we take youtube-breathers and change lazing positions. Elimination round started at Movie Number Three.
Outside the house, the air was a very comfortable kind of cool, everything had a blue-ish tint, and everything was so. unnaturally. s t i l l. At that moment, I could completely understand why some people take solitary middle-of-the-night strolls.
It was around half past five when we finished our fourth movie (& final movie of the day). That ONE cup of coffee kept me up all night. Level-ed uppp! (I usually die by 2am.)
6am, bedtime. Amazingly enough, I woke up two & a half hours later, before the alarm rang. Then we watched another movie.
Will be feeling the effects of this movie marathon tomorrow, but I guess it was worth it (:
Labels: hols, The College, TiLT
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Saturday, August 27, 2011, 12:06 AM
It's a long day tomorrow. & I didn't get any work done today.
OHNOES. Hello discipline, where art thou? :(
In other news, Nina Simone ftw!
Labels: random
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Thursday, August 18, 2011, 11:42 PM
The Unfortunate Reality
"My vocabulary is shrinking."Words don't flow as smoothly as they used to and I find myself speaking more in point form than in prose. Along with that is also the increased likelihood of jumbling up my words or saying things that are rather out-of-context. Evidently, there has been a distinct lack of prose in my recent-life.
"You're in engin, you don't need that much vocabulary."
The pace of school is picking up, what with the start of lectures, tutorials and graded labs. While it has been absolutely lovely meeting my coursemates and friends, this semester will see more of me studying and less of me partaking in one-too-many CCAs or social gatherings. I hope.
Labels: (a)musings, chat log, Uni
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Tuesday, August 9, 2011, 1:17 AM
Sometimes, the notion of how human I am gets to me and I am made aware of my limits. Yet again.
Labels: thoughts
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Sunday, August 7, 2011, 10:56 PM
Let The Good Times Roll
Thursday marked the end of being a honeymoon-ing freshman, my summer hols and the start of a more serious, preferably more meaningful , semester as a...sophomore. Five camps & plenty of dry runs later, this summer break's been filled with new people, meetups, random events and an abundance of memories. Along with it also comes relief after the biggest camp I've been involved in ended with a fantastic finale night flourish (that kinda made me wonder why it had never been done in the other years, but I digress). Would I do it again? Perhaps, but maybe for a different camp this time. On a side note, sleeping on tutorial room tables kill my back. The school needs more sofas!
Anyway, summing up freshmen year in a friend's quote (translated from Mandarin): Grew up a fair bit, realised many things and learnt alot. How we've changed.
Right now, need to make up for all the sleep-loss during the camps.
Right now, need to make up for all the sleep-loss during the camps.
Labels: hols, thoughts, TiLT, Uni
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Saturday, July 30, 2011, 12:28 AM
Latest Earworm
THIS BOY has an unbelievable voice. Am awed. He beats Bieber-boy by so much.
& THIS BOY is just too damn cute.
Labels: random
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011, 5:06 PM
Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No. 2 In C Minor, Op. 18
Today ain't a good day at all :( One of those days where things don't seem to go right & I don't feel right. Am retreating to my music-bubble.
My cousin's on a durian-delivery spree. She arrived on her cool blue scooter and left in less than two minutes. Didn't even bother staying to chat with my mom cos she was afraid her durians might go bad in this terrible weather. Also found out today that my uncle bought 50kg of durian yesterday. "Too little," he complained in Mandarin, "I initially wanted to buy 100kg, but the plantation didn't have enough." He goes to the frigging plantation to buy durians. Gotta love my durian-loving relatives. Am going to own a massive durian plantation next time.
Labels: (a)musings, chat log, hols, life, TiLT
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12:06 AM
Say Hi There
Sometimes, situations occur in such a way that all you can do is laugh, shrug and go with the flow. This week is (was supposed to be) Post-Camp Detox week. Yesterday, a family friend who just returned from the US gifted us with an Awesome Bag of Snack-able Items. In the afternoon, I discovered the awesomeness that is chapati & cheese. This evening, my utterly w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l. uncle arrived with durians & rambutans. You see where this is going, don't you? Hahaha.
Moving backwards on the timeline, Oweek'11 Dry Run ended yesterday. Pranking the PD, suppers, late-night showers, jumping down flights of stairs, meeting new people, understanding some a little better, Bridge, sleeping on narrow tables, Twiggies. Good times. Twiggies are soooo addictive. I can't believe I spent my childhood without Twiggies. It's a pity strawberry-flavoured Twiggies don't exist. Was dead to the world once I hit the bed. Woke up to a lazy morning all ache-y & creaky.
One week to Oweek. Two to the end. Vamoooss! Once done, Imma spend a week with myself to recuperate and find some Zen. Continuous exposure to too many people wears me out so bad. I sound like a sap.
Labels: hols, Inanity, thoughts, Uni
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Friday, July 22, 2011, 11:53 PM
Camp Madness
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Okay. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).
& I will not let fatigue-induced grumpiness get to me.
Labels: hols, Uni, weird shit
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Wednesday, July 13, 2011, 11:50 PM
You know it's time to step back from it all (& get more sleep) when you start feeling overwhelmed.
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5:39 PM
Berry Pancakes Bleed Purple & Pink
:D
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011, 11:06 PM
Vroom vrooommm!
"You need to drive. More. Gently."Improvement despite my lack of sleep!!! (Although he still reached for the emergency brake a couple of times.) This is so amusingggg :)
Labels: (a)musings, chat log
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