violet haze

i scare myself. the very knowledge and acknowledgement of that scares me further. topsy turvy without a fixed regime. i've got so many things in my head but i don't know which one to pursue first. should i put work before play? or attempt to enjoy the remnants of this so-called holiday by doing something i actually enjoy (like making cards. i've got new ideas to try out!)? or should i get my bloddy life straightened up before doing anything else? that means i've to tie up all the loose ends i've left throughout this year, which ironically points to all the things i have yet to get done, which brings me back to square one. yes, play is a critically significant part of whatever life i have left and without it, you can be damn sure i'd be a psycho-schizo of the highest order. and i believe i'm lacking in me-time once again. that probably explains my moods these days, my trainwreck of thoughts, and every other action that seems out of the abnormally ordinary. i can't believe i'm swearing so much these days as well. sure, i do feel a tad guilty after that but seriously, i'm * astonished at the vast quantities of mental swearing i do daily. something. is. extremely. wrong. with. me. i keep feeling like a major *up.

and i can't wait to meet Mocha again =D they're so therapeutic and every single time, meeting them makes me feel normal and... warm&fuzzy and all. comfortable familiarity. okay darn, imma big phatarse softie now.