A Moment

I wish I could be less of the bleeding weakling I am and maybe have a little bit more faith in MYSELF and more determination to boot.

Tutorials sap almost everything out of me and they're the one damn thing in The entire College that gets me down all the time. And they never fail to make me feel like a &^%$#!*?@ retard. WHYYY. I haven't felt like this much of an idiot since forever and it pisses me off cos I feel so damn helpless. My bloody intelligence is practically seeping out and evaporating- I feel it!- and it %$#@! gets me! If there's anything I violently despise with every fibre of my being, it's feeling stupid and incapable.