Last night,  I went to bed with every intention of waking up bright and early the next day to exercise. This morning, I did wake up bright and early only to hit the pillow once more after snoozing. When I eventually woke up at nine, I figured I should go ahead anyway and donned my socks, tied up my hair, took out the ankle weights and all that. I was feeling pretty good about how the day was starting until I opened the front door and was greeted with a flood of blinding sunlight and an oppressive humidity that permeated the air. Stood there, blinked. Blinked several more times. Aaaaand nope. Headed back to the coolness of the house and had breakfast instead.

On posture

Mom, while attempting to get my dad to improve his unbecoming uncle posture,

"Imagine you've a delicate thread holding you up and you've to stand straight so the thread won't snap."

To which my dad immediately replied,

"But then my pants will drop." 

Not bad, dad. I was rather impressed.

On whining

"So how do you do a manly whine?"

-pause-

"In a baritone." 

Oh Mom.

"But MOM, I'm sentimental!"

"Ya, go take a knife and cut yourself."

Mother-sister conversations can be so interesting.

HA HA HA

"Boys have no brains, even though both start with 'b'.  

Stir-fried One Liners

"[...] and eat all your vegetables, including the eggplant."

Completely unexpected endings crack me up xD

ANW

"It's the most dubious congrats you've ever had."

Cracked up at this.

I like how the week always ends on a good note despite the nonsense in between Mondays & Fridays (:

"My friends think I've an obsessive affair with food."

"So why're you so superficial huh?"

"I'm not! It just so happens that I always have food-related stuff to talk about!"

"...that's because your depth is only up to your stomach."

"Christine, when are you going to get a boyfriend???"

"When I find someone who intrigues and fascinates me in a way I cannot explain."

"... Okay, you can date Mom then."

Chaos Is.

Today, a 7 year old girl asked me, with the solemnity of priest & the curiosity of... a 3 year old who's never seen a grasshopper before, "Are you Malay?" And I all but gaped at her with incredulity because it was the first time in my entire life that I've been asked that question. Usually it's my sister that gets it a lot since she's dark with big, non-Oriental looking eyes. I'm her opposite - fair with eyes so small that when I smile you can't see them. After I recovered, I replied, "Nope. Do I look Malay to you?", ending the question with a purposeful upwards lilt in my tone, attempting to convey the (only apparent to me) ridiculousness of that notion. "Yes!" Cue emphatic nodding of her head; the curls of brown in her ponytail bobbing up & down vigorously.


Really meh.

*****

My life doesn't seem as fulfilling as I would like it to be. & while I can probably guess the reason why, I don't know if I can make that continued effort to rectify the problem :(

I want to feel that rush of euphoria & satisfaction. Again. & again & again & again.

Whossats

Yesterday, after a late dinner, we were driving home when we hit a red light. Dad looked around, saw a couple waiting to cross & casually remarked, "Hey, that guy looks like a dog!" Then came four astonished responses of, "Huh? What? Where?!" before we saw this tall, lanky blonde guy in a baggy forest green shirt saunter past with a dog behind him. "No, he does NOT look like a dog..." says my sister, giving him a (-.^) look. Still trying to convince, "Nononono! He does! That guy from the dog show, whassat called?? That cartoon!" Finally, my sister gets him, "OH. You mean Scooby Doo." A triumphant, "YA! Doesn't he look like Scooby Doo?" resounds. "Well, dad, Scooby Doo's the dog. The guy's name is Shaggy."

You're too cute, Mom.

As my mother was scrolling through my younger sister's blog, attempting to figure out why she's been so pms-y/ emo/ hostile lately, her eyes spotted a seemingly outrageous sentence. It must've seared her retinas for she started muttering furiously, "What is this?! Tsktsktsk. How can she write something like that?!" while highlighting the offending sentence which had been italicised for emphasis. Then she proceeded to jab the DEL button continuously for several seconds before huffing indignantly at the uncooperativeness, "Hey, this cannot be deleted ah? Why can't I delete this?! Christine! How can I delete this sentence!" Frowning confusedly, she proceeded to try the BACKSPACE button, failing miserably as well.

At that point, having lost control of any ability to speak due to laughing harder than I've laughed in the last 2 weeks, all I could do was wave a helpless hand towards the mouse attempting to convey the futility of her efforts.

JTLYK #13 Analogy Fail

#1.

"Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

Ha ha my mom and I cracked up at this. Found it while attempting to find good examples of analogies, similes, metaphors & idioms so the kids can better differentiate them . The funnier it is, the better the impression. I hope it helps.

#2. In other news, the Bites are getting to me again. My right leg has a cluster of bites that makes my leg look like the cellulite went into overdrive. Right now, it's a 3D art piece - appears suspiciously like a collection of fingernail marks positioned to look like stars.

#3. Have started reading a new book (I decided Midnight's Children & the other Van Gogh book can wait) - Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at BPD by Richard Moskovitz. So far, I've been hooked. On the bus, while waiting for another bus, on the train, while blindly walking following the crowds, while stepping on shoes (& mumbling apologies), even got offered a seat so I could continue reading. It's... nice... to be oblivious to the world around you sometimes (:

#4. My mom has declared that from now on, window shopping shall be her new fitness plan. Marathon window-shopped with my mom from 1600h to about 2100h. Five hours, for non-shoppers like us, is a whole new record. My feet hurt.

#5. God works in amazing ways. Every single time we're looking for certain articles of clothing, they'll arrive at our doorstep. Literally. & not just one at a time; they come in bags. Just received a bag of clothes from my relatives today. Beautiful tops & dresses. If there's anything my family doesn't need to spend on, it's clothes. I'm absolutely floored by how our wants (yea, wants. Not needs.) are constantly met through the most inexplicable of circumstances. Praise God! :D

#6. Need to impose more structure in my life. Or rather, more diediemustexercisetoday moments so the procratinator in me will shrivel up & die.

#7. Am tired. Can't sleep. Major rings around the eyes. Insomnia? Not in the most extreme terms, but yes. I'm awake at 0200h, drift into light slumber, wake up when my sister blows her nose then it's trouble entering lala-land again.

"Oh, & you didn't see me on the bus today, okay?"

You're the lol in my lollipop

Let's start with the awful so we can end this post on a good note (:

This is my last NAPFA year and I actually feel sad about it because I happen to like NAPFA, minus the run. I majorly screwed up my standing broad jump today and spent the rest of the day feeling really angry with myself. Collected the photos today as well. They didn't turn out as well as I expected so :( And this week is insanely insane in the my-hamster-just-grew-purple-hair-&-started-breakdancing way My plate's gonna break if I'm not careful.

Moving on to the sparklyhappystuff, Wenqi and I either drank the same-kind-of-something-wrong, are too sleep deprived and stress out, sorely lacking in me-time or just plain looney. Or it could be a NY primary thing.

"You're the apple in my crumble!"
"The kit in my kat! "
"The lol in my lollipop! "
"The gee in my scrunchie! "
"The under in my wear! "
"The icing on my cake! "
"The G in my string! "

"CHAOS IN A BOX RAH! "

Cue laughing fits in the lecture theatre. Cracked me up like no other. Then cue weird stares from surrounding classmates. We give them good weird-staring practice (:

0.0

"What is pro-creation?"

"It means to reproduce."

"...therefore you shall make babies?"

JTLYK#3

...babycakes

HAHAHAHAHA I'm so close to rofl-ing, complete with stitches in the sides, hysterical laughter and tears seeping out xD

EYE VANCE EM NAO!

To my (and probably yours as well) greatest dismay, I don't have any photos of the wonderful school trip to the Middle East. Yet. I've a feeling it's gonna take quite a while before I can get all the photos that have my face in it and every other thing that captured the memories in vivid detail.

SOOOOO many things to say, many tales to tell ;) but no, I'm not gonna post it here; too long.

But just to keep y'all amused (and for me to remember), here are some random details of the trip:

#1. Shop-keepers and random tourists thought I was Japanese so I was repeating myself quite a bit trying to convince them that no, I am Sin-ga-po-rean. I can speak English. Comprende?

#2. Some-random-body I met at the Desert Safari thought I was a boy. Thanks ah, it really does wonders for my self-esteem. It went like this:

"Hey man, wassup? How're you?!" -big smile, sticks out hand enthusiastically-

"Hey, I'm great, yea..." -shakes hand, plastered on smile, is confused cos he does the guy handshake-

"Um, are you a girl?"

The conversation continued with my replies dripping with sarcasm and him apologising profusely. Then, together with his friends, my friends and my teacher in charge, we cam-whored. Tsk, whip out a camera and everyone poses and becomes instant friends.

#3. I made 2 cousins from the trip! (: And one of them, the banner carrier, is awesome. He's the perfect kind of cousin; I want to hug him every time I see him (:

#4. I fell in love. With a hat. More specifically, AbiKang's beautiful hat from Japan. Wait till you see it, you'll love it too.

#5. The chocolates there are obscenely cheap! I went down the row picking bars of chocolate just to satisfy the OHMUHGAAHHVASDAS ZEECHOCOLATES! ZEECHOCOLATES! THEY'RE SO FREAKING CHEEEEEEP! 0.0! screaming nutcase in me. It really is cheap- a KitKat chunky is a mere SGD$0.80. Same goes for Toblerone, Mars, Snickers etc.

#6. I fell in like and was completely charmed off my feet by this astoundingly charismatic Iranian shop assistant I met at the Spice Souk while having a field day buying spices and dates

Why can't Singapore have guys like that?! If such people were in the retail sector, we'll be making beeeeg monehh everyday! Ka-ching! But that's besides the point, really.

#7. Almost every Middle Eastern person there has gorgeous, gorgeous eyelashes. They're long, fine and curl very naturally. It doesn't help that they have beautiful eyes that accentuate the lashes. Or is it the other way round? Either way, I am insanely envious.

#8. I picked up poker late one night while staying out of my room (: Okay, so poker isn't as complicated as I thought.

#9. Ate an average of 5-6 times a day, refreshments at various visited organizations included. That is why I am !#$%?@ obese right now. I enjoyed the food though (:

#10. AbiKang is an evil mastermind who succesfully pulled off a scheme that involved a person people doing kawaii-neh poses and resulted in permanent scarring and trauma for those of us who experienced it first and second hand :P

kbye.

Improvisation

" [...] On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
... seven zombie kittens, six prancing pelicans, FIVE GOLDEN RIIINNGGSSS, four mockingbirds, three peahens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear treeee...[...]"

"Stop massacring my Christmas carols and I want to know who that true love of yours is!"

Hey, at least I got the 1st, 2nd and 5th day correct.

Today wasn't a very good day, but that's not to say it downright sucked. It was just... screwy, like how toasted chopped garlic in olive oil on cold tofu seems so wrong but tastes just fine. Something like that, but slightly worse.

Punched a locker; it felt good. Punched the wall; it hurt my kncukles. But still couldn't shake that feeling off so when I arrived home drenched, I did something I haven't done in a long long time: drumming on the pad. It is very possibly the most therapeutic thing ever. Was at it for a good 30 minutes and my fingers feel a tad tingly. Okay, it actually went from drumming to beating on to whacking to punching the drum pad. I told you I have Repressed Violent Tendencies. Even my mom agrees with me.

And after that, I felt faint. Yes, locked windows and little ventilation tend to do that to people. I'm a regular Genius, huh?

On a brighter note, I had broccoli and cheese for late-lunch today and while it did little to lighten my mood, at least I know I've met my dietry fibre quota for the week.

I don't want to wake up & go to school tomorrow just to hand in my stupid I&R. Idon'tIdon'tIdon'tIviolentlyresentfullyDON'T.

(:

"Am I going to have a problem with you, Mr Bond?"

"No, don't worry, you're not my type."

"Smart?"

"Single"

For some reason, this cracked me up so much.

Okay, I have a developing semi-eyeball headache and an already developed fullblown headache after watching Casino Royale and helping my sis. I shall now... either poke my eyes out or pop some pills.